Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize