id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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