No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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