she smelled like a LAN party
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize