I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
handjob tips. give me some.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize