Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize