I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
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He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
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Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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