My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I think my nap took me to another dimension
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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