8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I lost the right to judge tonight
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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