Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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