they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize