Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
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Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
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I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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