i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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