the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I love you.
Bad choice
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize