i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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