I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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