woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize