I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
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There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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