Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
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Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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