There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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