it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
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What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
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I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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