So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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