Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize