You kept calling me your small dog last night.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize