lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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