Well douche your snatch and let's go!
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize