pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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