Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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