even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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