im holly from the hills drunk
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize