soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
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Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
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ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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