Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
