My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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