Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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