So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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