I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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