she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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