I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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