Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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