So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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