I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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