i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize