Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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