...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize