Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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