She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
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just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
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I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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