he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize