Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
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He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
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Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
PANTIES FOUND
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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