woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize