you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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