Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize